Can You Feel It?
by beegurl13
Summary: A man who's lost everything meets a woman with everything to lose. What happens when they can't deny an attraction that could ruin them? A story of forbidden love, overwhelming feelings, and a spark that ignites a slow burning fire that could consume them both. "This feeling. Tell me it's not just me feeling it. ... It's not just you." Written for blueeyedcherry in FAGE5. A/H, M
1. Chapter 1 - Are You Sure

**FAGEY McFAGEINGTON THE 5th**

**Title: Can You Feel It?**

**Written for: blueeyedcherry**

**Written By: beegurl13**

**Rating: M**

**Summary/Prompt used: Psychologist & bad-boy tatted up client fling**

**If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this exchange visit the facebook group: ** **Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps or add the C2 to get all the stories direct to your inbox.**

**http:()/()www().()fanfiction()****.()net/community/Fagey-McFageington-the-5th/93625/**

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**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a rather severe case of writer's block. Well, either that or I've just lost all will to write over the past 6 months or so. Bleh. :D**

**Thanks to the girlies who looked over this for me and told me it's not crap, and then pointed out errors that I'd made. It's a rough job, but I'm glad they seem to like doing it. :D _Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy, Twilight44, _and_ EdwardsBloodType_...thank you. :) You keep me sane, even when I don't take all of your advice. :D (_EBT_, I know...but I really like this freaked out Bella. :D )**

**This is for _blueeyedcherry_, a girl I didn't even know until this round of FAGE happened, and she randomly asked me to make a banner for her story. :D I was so excited, and man...it was hard keeping to myself the fact that I had her story-gift sitting in my laptop. :D I hope you like this. I tried to include some things about you, yet not make them totally obvious, so I hope you enjoy the little tributes to you. :)  
**

**Here's the deal. Long A/N, I know, sorry. This story isn't supposed to be longer than 5,000 words. So, since I like being wordy...I made it 5,000 words exactly. It's broken up into 13 chapters, but I'll give you a word count on each one so that you'll know I'm being honest about my count. :)**

**Enjoy!**

**~*0*~ Chapter 1 – Are You Sure? ~*0*~ **

"You sure you're gonna be okay, Bells?" Jake asked one more time.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I gotta start handling cases on my own soon, anyway."

"But a guy just out of prison?"

I sighed. "He wasn't in prison. Not really. He had some problems, petty stuff. He's young, probably just needs someone to help him find his way. That's where I come in."

"If you say so."

Jake was always protective of me—before, during, and after our marriage. That's who he was, a protector. And honestly, it made me feel a little better, knowing someone was looking out for me and Maggie.

"It's fine, like I said. See you next weekend."

After I hung up the phone, I pulled out the folder for my very first client. Well, the first case I'd ever been assigned to handle on my own, anyhow.

Edward Cullen. Twenty One years old. From Forks, Washington. Former receiver for the Forks High School football team, who still held a few records. Son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the town physician.

It looked to me like he was a bored little rich boy who'd never had to work a day in his life. He probably hadn't had to work_ for_ anything, either. I knew the type. I hated the type. I avoided the type.

Checking on Maggie once more, making sure she was still asleep, I walked down the hall to the closed door at the end of it. Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened it, flicking on the light and looking around. My new office. Finally. I'd always dreamed of having my own place, where I could help people, maybe even change the world. That's what I wanted.

High school was easy for me. I never struggled with grades or classes, didn't get involved in any extra curricular stuff, basically just followed my best friend around. It wasn't long before he got drunk one night and kissed me. We were dating after that, and right after graduation, we found out I was pregnant. None of our parents were thrilled, especially since we were both enrolled in fall classes at the University of Washington. Jake was going into some kind of art thing. I was majoring in social work. I wanted to be a psychologist.

It was hard, having Maggie just after finishing my first semester. Jake's sister came and stayed, she helped us out, we struggled and made it through. Too bad our marriage didn't. He was a good guy, we just wanted different things. I was okay with it, and so was he. Now, six years later, I was finally working for Clallam County Social Services, helping those in need.

And the next day would be my biggest test. My first challenge. My first patient.

I was nervous, anxious, and so, so ready. I knew if he gave me the chance, I could help Edward Cullen turn his life around.

I just hoped that's what he wanted, too.

**~*0*~  
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**A/N: See you soon...**

**- 500 words total  
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	2. Chapter 2 - First Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a full inbox. Wow, I'm kinda in shock...it's been a while since I woke up with over 100 emails waiting for me. :D Thanks for that. :)**

**In an effort to keep A/N's down, refer to Chapter 1 for all the thanks and info and stuff. :)**

**Let's meet Edward... :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 2 – First Appointment ~*0*~ **

After a restless night I was ready. I smoothed my skirt down one more time, pacing in front of my office window. It overlooked the front yard and the street. I knew I was lucky to have an extra room with an outside entrance. That's one of the reasons I wanted the house. Working from home would make me more available for Maggie. Being that Jake was still in Seattle and I was doing the single parent thing all week long, every week, I wanted as much flexibility in my schedule as I could have.

The sound of a car engine startled me from my staring at the new plush brown carpet I'd just had installed. When I looked up, I saw a silver sedan parked along the side of the street, a woman getting out from the driver's side.

Oh yeah, Edward Cullen had his driver's license suspended as part of his punishment. Another part was his court mandated counseling session with me twice a week. From the looks of who I assumed to be his impatient mother waiting for him, he wasn't too excited. Probably about either of the punishments.

He should just be grateful; they kept him out of prison.

When he finally emerged, I couldn't tell much about him from the way he held himself, or the way he walked down the narrow sidewalk toward my office door.

"Hello, I'm Esme Cullen, Edward's mother," the woman said as I greeted them at the door.

"I'm Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you."

She smiled, sighing what sounded like a sigh of relief, then ushered her son forward. "This is Edward, my son."

He said nothing, just kept his gaze on the floor and reached up to scratch the back of his neck. With the beanie hat he was wearing, I couldn't even tell what color his hair was, but the piercing in his left eyebrow didn't go unnoticed.

"The session lasts an hour, right?" Esme asked.

"Yes, an hour. Will you be coming back to pick him up?"

"I plan to, yes. If not, his father will be here."

With that announcement, I heard a slight groan from Edward's chest. Apparently, the idea of his father wasn't a pleasant one. Something I'd have to remember for our discussions.

"Okay, we'll see you then. Thanks for bringing him," I said, before closing the door and gesturing toward the sofa that sat along the wall farthest from the doorway. "You can have a seat."

Edward walked slowly across the room, falling heavily onto the leather, then reaching up to pull his hat off. Maybe he did have some manners, after all.

I grabbed my paper pad and sat down in the chair across from him.

"So, Edward, why don't you tell me about yourself," I started, hoping to ease him into a discussion.

For about five minutes, I heard nothing but silence. And deep, labored breaths.

He was asleep.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Yeah...he's got some issues. :D  
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	3. Chapter 3 - Second Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is leftover Beef & Broccoli from Panda Express. Awesome breakfast...trust me. :D**

**You know, that whole "I wanna make these A/N's smaller, so look at Chapter 1 for the 411 on this story" and stuff. It still applies. :)**

**Please keep in mind...I'm not a doctor, nor have I played one on TV, so all this "therapy" stuff could be way off base. It's fiction, let's pretend Bella's an awesome therapist, okie dokie? And _blueeyedcherry_, this chapter is where the fun for you kicks in. :D**

**Oh, and _edaddict3254,_ this is the chapter. :D I forgot how early in the story it is. :D**

**~*0*~ Chapter 3 – Second Appointment ~*0*~ **

Tuesday, Edward had slept through most of our meeting, waking long enough to grunt at me a few times and flip me off as he walked out the door.

I cried for a solid hour after he left, then called my supervisor.

"You can do this," Kate assured me. "Just give him some time. He's a tough case, but you can handle him."

When he showed up Friday, I was ready. He dragged himself into the office, and though I couldn't smell any alcohol on him, I got the feeling he'd already been drinking. And it was only ten o'clock in the morning.

"I thought we'd start off today with you telling me some things you like," I said. When he didn't respond, I tried again. "Maybe if I tell you something I like, then you'll tell me something you like? Give and take, you know?"

"Whatever."

Finally, a word out of him. I was elated.

"Okay, I love music. All kinds, really. Now you go. Maybe if I know what you like, I can help you get things figured out."

He huffed and let out a groan before laying his head back along the top of the sofa. He looked up and finally his eyes met mine.

He was gorgeous. Truly amazing looking. The intense green in his eyes made my breath catch, and I felt my grip tighten around my pen. His finger started to move back and forth along his denim covered thigh as he continued to stare at me. It was making me squirm. It was making things reawaken in me. Things I hadn't thought about for years. Not since I was last with Jake.

He cleared his throat. "I like to fuck. Can you help me with that?"

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Hee-hee-hee... Oh, I think she can. :D**

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	4. Chapter 4 - Aftermath

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a dozen tamales. I think it's lunch time... :D**

**Yeah, so we all seem to want to take Edward up on his offer. :D Wonder what Bella thinks...**

**~*0*~ Chapter 4 – Aftermath ~*0*~ **

I'd never coughed so hard in my life. The idea of having sex with a client had never once entered my thoughts. It was unethical. It was an abuse of power. It was wrong. It was totally forbidden. And never once, until Edward Cullen mentioned it, had it crossed my mind.

After his words, his suggestion and solicitation, really, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

About how his plump, pink lips looked so soft. How they would feel pressed against my lips, my cheek, my throat. About how long and flexible his fingers were. How they would feel gliding up my bare back, squeezing my breasts, pushing into me. About his eyes. His eyes...I couldn't remember ever having seen such emptiness in another person. It was like I could see through him. Like there was nothing there.

It was haunting. Something was wrong with him, but I had yet to figure out what it was. I needed to keep digging, keep pushing him, keep looking.

I only hoped the feelings that were quickly developing within me would stop. That they'd let me do my job. That they wouldn't get me fired.

I told him no, explained it all. He said nothing else, just watched me and left when his mother arrived.

By the time Tuesday rolled around again, I needed to be ready. In control. Prepared.

Or I was gonna be totally screwed. And not in a good way. The bent-over-the-desk kind of way I wanted.

I wanted him bad.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Yeah...don't we all want him... :D**

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	5. Chapter 5 - Third Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a butt that's not getting anything done today, aside from posting this story and chatting with my buddy _Luxure. _:D She's fun, and very persuasive. :)**

**There's some inside joke stuff in this chapter. Let's see if anyone can catch it... :D And _EBT _wanted me to make Bella more professional sounding. But I like that Bella's all caught up in a tizzy over this silly, broken man. :D I can't help it...I'd probably be the same way. :D So don't blame _EBT_, she tried to steer me in a more responsible direction. :) And that's why I love her. Well...one of the reasons, anyway. :D**

**Oh boy...these two are getting fun. :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 5 – Third Appointment ~*0*~ **

"You think any more about what I said?"

His first words after walking in the door were the exact ones I didn't want to hear.

"I told you Friday, Edward, it's not right. I could lose my job, my license. All the work I've done to be able to help people...down the drain in one momentary indiscretion. I can't jeopardize the most important things in my life. It's not right, I'm sorry."

"Your loss."

"Can't I help you in some other way?" I saw his eyes brighten a bit as he leaned forward to sit up a bit straighter. "And I don't mean with oral sex."

"Oh, never mind then."

"Seriously? I just told you what I stand to lose by having a sexual relationship with you, and you think it's fine to proposition me for a blow job? Are you kidding?"

"What? I like sex and everything related to it. What's wrong with that?"

"I don't know, Edward, that's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm trying to figure out why you're the way you are. Can't we just talk about some things? Things that are happening in your life? Won't you even let me try to help you? Really help you?"

He was silent for several seconds, his fingers tracing over the arm of the sofa.

"No one can help me," he mumbled, closing himself off from me again.

"Let me try? Please? I just want to help you, that's all."

His head shook as he remained silent. I didn't know what else to do. It was at the point when my tears started.

"I'm gonna get fired," I breathed out softly, reaching up to wipe away the tear that slid down my cheek.

"Why?" he asked so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

"You're my first solo case. My first real client that's just mine that I don't have a supervisor for. They're gonna think I'm not cut out for this, and I'm gonna lose my job. I'll have to move and find work somewhere else, and then my daughter's gonna freak out because she's just started making new friends here. And my ex is gonna have a conniption fit if we have move away somewhere. And I don't even want to think about what my parents will say."

A sob bubbled out of my chest, and I gasped for breath as I covered my face with my hands.

After a few moments of my unfortunate break down, I heard Edward shift in his seat.

"Dr. Swan...I'm afraid of what you'll say. I mean...I think, maybe...I killed someone," he whispered.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Oh no... :(**

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	6. Chapter 6 - 4th, 5th, & 6th Appointments

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a bunch of Christmas decorations that my hubs dragged out yesterday and expected me to put up today. Whoops... :D**

**So, a small word limit caused me to get creative. The story needs all this dialogue, so there aren't thoughts from Bella on this. Hope that's cool with you. :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 6 – Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Appointments ~*0*~**

**Fourth**

"Can you tell me a little about what happened?"

"No. I can't talk about it."

"Is that because you're afraid of something bad happening to you?"

"No."

"Is it just something you're uncomfortable talking about?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"That's common, completely normal. How about we talk about something else? We can play our game, okay?"

"Alright."

"So, one of my favorite movies is _Dazed and Confused_. Have you seen that?"

"Oh yeah, my dad likes that one. I liked _Thor_."

**Fifth**

"How are you feeling today?"

"My head hurts."

"How are things with your dad?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Have you talked to him lately? I know he wants to talk to you."

"He just yells and lectures. He doesn't listen to me."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Like a piece of shit. Like I'm never gonna be good enough. Like I'll never be as great as my brother is."

**Sixth**

"So is there anything you'd like to talk about today?"

"No."

"How is your community service going?"

"Fine."

"Where are you working?"

"At the hospital."

"Do you see your dad there?"

"Yeah."

"Do you _see_ him, or does he check up on you?"

"Both, I guess. We had lunch yesterday."

"That's nice. How did it go? Did you get to talk much?"

"Yeah. He didn't yell."

"That's great, Edward. How do you feel about that?"

"Good, I guess. Better than when he yells."

"Do you like the work you're doing?"

"It's okay. I read books to sick kids and old people." He smiles. "There's a girl, she's like six or seven. She thinks I'm her boyfriend."

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: 1, 2, 3...swooooon... :) Better...here's some improvement. :)**

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	7. Chapter 7 - Seventh Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a space heater that's keeping my feet warm. I'm a desert girl...I don't like it when the temperature drops below 70 degrees. :D**

**_blueeyedcherry,_ there's something in here for you. :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 7 – Seventh Appointment ~*0*~**

Things were going better; I was feeling more positive. I didn't know what had happened to Edward, why he thought he'd killed someone, but I was hopeful that soon he'd tell me. I prayed it wasn't anything too serious, anything I'd have to report. I didn't want to break the trust that we were finally starting to establish.

I heard the door open and looked up...and felt my heart stop.

He was wearing a short sleeved t-shirt for the first time. Every other appointment, he'd worn a leather jacket, and had never taken it off. But as he walked into the room, and I saw the ink that flowed across his forearms, I felt my knees weaken. And I was glad I was already sitting down.

His lips pulled up into a smirk and I heard him chuckle softly.

"Hey, Dr. Swan. What's up?"

He dropped onto the sofa, turning so that he was lying across it and staring at me.

"Hi, Edward," I managed to say, making myself look at my notes from our previous session.

"It's nice out today, huh?" he said.

I nodded, noticing a lightness about him. It was something I hadn't ever seen in him before.

"You seem happier today. I take it things are good? You had a good weekend?"

He smiled. "Yeah, it was good. My brother and I played soccer all day Saturday. It was nice to be out in the sun. I didn't want to go at first, but he made me. He's a big guy, I can't really say no to him when his mind's made up. Anyway, it was fun."

"That's nice. Do you have a good relationship with him?"

"It's okay. He's married, he moved away for a while. He just moved back a month or so ago. His wife got a job at the high school."

"That's good. Are you happy to have him back? Do you think you'll get to spend some time with him?"

"Yeah, I hope so. He likes sports; we have that in common."

I smiled at him. I was happy that we were finally beginning to communicate better. Now, if he would just open up to me about things that were more important to him. Maybe then I could really help him.

"So, did you know I'm scared of spiders?" I began.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: This is good, right? :D**

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	8. Chapter 8 - Eight Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a family that is home from school and work...and totally cutting into my posting time. I hate that... :D**

**Um, we're all good with sexual tension, right? Just thought I'd check... :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 8 – Eighth Appointment ~*0*~**

It was Friday, and it had been nearly a month since I'd started working with Edward. A month of tightening my thighs every Tuesday and Friday as I tried to resist the tingling urges that were threatening to overwhelm me. A month of restless sleep and vivid dreams—all of which starred Edward.

Tuesday night I spent dreaming about his tattoos. And his eyebrow piercing. I wondered what he'd look like with lip piercings. In my dream he had his tongue pierced, too, and the things he did to me...

My hand clenched as I sat in my chair, snapping my last pencil in half. "Crap!" I muttered, throwing it into the trash can, and turning around to grab a pen that lay on top of my filing cabinet. Maggie had taken my last few pencils for school, since she had run out, and I'd need to get some more soon.

Just as I touched the pen, it rolled off the book it was sitting on and fell down between the cabinet and wall. I had a few more minutes before Edward was scheduled to be there, so I leaned over the cabinet, reaching into the darkness—my fingers searching for the thin blue plastic pen. I still couldn't quite reach it and I stretched a little more. That's when I heard it.

A quick inhale of breath, and a growl.

_Edward._

"Uh, Edward?" I asked.

"Dr. Swan," I heard from across the room.

"My pen fell, I was trying to reach it."

We were both frozen in place, apparently. I knew I was, and he didn't seem to be moving. Just as I thought I should stand up, since he could most likely see a lot more of me than he should—thanks to my skirt that normally rode just above my knees—I felt his hands on my hips.

"Dr. Swan..."

His thighs pressed against mine, and I held as still as I could. I wanted him, so much, and he was so close, and it was so wrong.

"Edward, um..."

"What's your first name?"

I whimpered. _Whimpered! _ "Bella."

"Let me see if I can reach it for you, Bella."

I stood up, not moving away from him and enjoying the feel of his hands on my hips.

"Tell me it's not just me," he whispered into my ear, his nose pressing into my hair.

"What's not just you?"

"This feeling. Tell me it's not just me feeling it."

I swallowed and closed my eyes, leaning back ever so gently. "It's not just you."

"How much longer until you're not my doctor anymore?"

His fingers tightened on me, stretching the fabric of my skirt across my stomach.

"Five more months."

He pulled in a deep breath. "Five months," he said, then leaned away from me.

I stepped away; he retrieved my pen; we took our seats.

"So, I hate gingerbread," I began.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: I love gingerbread. Just sayin'. :)**

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	9. Chapter 9 - 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, A Lot

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I also do not own are Christmas presents. Yeah...my 10 year old reminded me today that it's 13 days until Christmas. I guess I should actually buy some gifts, huh? Crap. :D**

**We got answers here, people. Big answers. :) And some hotness...'cause I like that. :D**

**~*0*~ Chapter 9 – Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, Twelfth, Thirteenth...A Lot of Appointments ~*0*~ **

"Can you tell me why you don't want to go out with your friends this weekend?"

"Yeah, but I shouldn't. I mean, they'll just want to go to a party and hook up with girls. They'll think there's something wrong with me if I don't do that."

"You're only twenty-one, Edward. You should be having fun, enjoying yourself."

"I'll be twenty-two next week. And I am having fun."

"Edward..."

"How old are you, anyway?"

"I don't think-"

"How old, Bella?"

"Twenty nine."

"See, still in the same decade."

-o-o-o-

"You seem down. What's going on?"

"I saw someone yesterday. I just hadn't seen her in a while."

"So this is someone you used to know well?"

"You could say that."

"I could, but would you?"

"Yeah, I knew her. I knew her really well."

"Why haven't you stayed in contact with her?"

"I couldn't. After what I did...I couldn't. I knew it would hurt her to see me."

"What did you do, Edward?"

"I told you before... I can't talk about it."

-o-o-o-

"My birthday's tomorrow. I thought maybe we could celebrate today since I doubt you'll wanna go out with me tomorrow night."

"It's not that I don't want to, it's that-"

"Yeah, you told me. It's double chocolate. I figured you like chocolate, right?"

"Of course."

"You gonna sing to me?"

"No, but I'll light the candle."

"I didn't bring a knife, but it's just a cupcake. Here's your half."

"This is really good."

"You have a little...there's a little frosting on the side of your mouth..."

"Thanks..."

"I'd rather have licked it off. Maybe next year."

"Edward..."

-o-o-o-

"It was really late at night. We'd been at Paul's house. I didn't know they were following us."

"Who was following you?"

"Tanya's brother and his friend. I didn't know."

"What happened, Edward?"

"I was driving fast. Too fast, I guess. I just wanted to be alone with Tanya for a while before she had to be home, you know? He got his license the week before. He couldn't drive for shit, but he thought he could."

"Her brother? What is his name?"

"Alec. He was two years younger than us."

"What happened?"

"We were on a forest road, it was kinda twisty and turny. There were a lot of trees, and it was pretty narrow. There was this one turn... If you didn't know it was there, you'd miss it. I was being funny, trying to impress Tanya, and I turned off my headlights."

"Okay."

"He didn't have his on; he was following us and trying to be sneaky, I guess. I made the turn, but he didn't. I didn't even know he was there until we heard the crash."

"What did you do?"

"We didn't know for sure what it was, but then I saw the flames in my rear-view mirror, and we stopped. I turned around so my headlights would shine on them, and that's when Tanya recognized the car."

"Her brother?"

"Yeah. She started freakin' out. She was screaming and running toward it. It was on fire...and I could hear his friend yelling, trying to get out. I just...I was frozen, you know? For like ten seconds, I stood there like a rock. The first little explosion shook me and I woke up. I got the door open and pulled his friend out. I think his leg was broken, or something. Tanya was trying to get Alec's door open, and it just wouldn't budge. I tried to help...but... I just ran back to the passenger side and crawled across. I pulled on him until he finally slid free, and I pulled him out. But he wasn't breathing. I tried CPR while Tanya called 911, but he never came around. He never came back."

"Oh, Edward..."

"I got him killed. It was my fault. I killed him."

"Edward, no, it wasn't your fault."

"After that...nothing else really mattered."

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: How much do you want to hug this poor boy? And see, Bella's not THAT much older... :) Though maybe that's just the cougar in me trying to justify it. :D**

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	10. Chapter 10 - Second to Last Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is dinner stuff my family hates. :D Ugh, it's always such a chore making dinner...no one ever likes the same things! :D**

**~*0*~ Chapter 10 – Second to Last Appointment ~*0*~**

It was nice, at last I knew what led to Edward's trouble, the thing that had caused him to act out and completely disregard everything in his life. After a few months of talking, he was finally to the point where he knew it wasn't his fault that Alec had died. Though, whether he truly believed it, I wasn't sure.

The sexual tension between us was still thick and hard to ignore, but I did the best I could. Constantly reminding myself of what I had to lose if I gave in. He didn't make it any easier on me. At least I knew he was suffering, too.

"So, you finished your service hours at the hospital?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm done. Now I just gotta finish up with my psychologist..."

"I hear she's tough."

"Yep...drives me crazy like you wouldn't believe."

"Edward..."

"You still feel it, right?"

I sighed, then watched as he stood up and walked to my chair, putting his hand on my face and making me look up at him.

"You still feel it?"

"Yeah."

Because I did.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Awwww...he really does like her. :)**

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	11. Chapter 11 - Last Appointment

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a need for angst, and to put at least a little bit into everything I write. :)**

**Here it comes...you knew he couldn't stay in counseling forever. :(**

**~*0*~ Chapter 11 – Last Appointment ~*0*~**

I'd prepared my final report on Edward ahead of time. I knew nothing much would change with our last visit, and I planned to email it right after Edward left.

He looked perfect—as always—when he walked through the door, but I could sense some sadness in his eyes. I didn't beat around the bush.

"What's wrong?"

He sighed. "My uncle got me a job. In Seattle. It's at a hospital, doing kinda what I did here, only with more cleaning. And I'm enrolled in classes at U Dub again."

"That's great," I said, smiling. I didn't mean it. He was leaving. I didn't want him to go.

"I guess. It sucks, you know?"

"I know."

"I wanted to take you out. Just once. Show you I'm a good guy, not this fuck-up you've seen for the past six months."

"I know you're a good guy."

He looked at me, eyes burning into mine. "I am, Bella. I'm a good guy. Don't forget that."

There was nothing more to say. I fought back tears as he walked out the door, one last time.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Sadness... :( Trust me. :)**

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	12. Chapter 12 - Something Forgotten

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a love of sweet, yet realistic lemons. :D I can't help it, I just like them that way. :)**

**I think you've been waiting for this... :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 12 – Something Forgotten ~*0*~**

I sat at my desk after he was gone, wondering, wishing...hoping. That's when I heard the door open. I looked up to see Edward standing there, closing it behind him, and I watched as his fingers carefully flipped the lock.

"I forgot something," he said, his voice deep, scratchy.

"What?"

"This."

He crossed the room in four long strides, grabbing me up from my chair and pulling me against him. When his lips met mine, every fantasy I'd had about him in the past six months flew through my mind. I wanted him.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, he pulled me to the couch, and as he sat down, I straddled his lap. His lips were everywhere, his hands raking up and down my back before moving to my chest and popping open every button on my blouse. His fingers pulled at my lacy bra, as his kisses trailed down toward my breasts, sucking them deep into his mouth and making me moan like I never had before.

"Edward," I called out as his fingers skimmed my thighs, pushing my skirt higher and higher. I silently praised my choice of thigh high nylons that day when his fingers pushed under my silky panties and deep into me. My hands pulled through his hair as I held him to me and rocked back and forth over him, pushing myself down against his hardness.

Within minutes, he'd unzipped his jeans and his cock was standing hard and tall between us. As my teeth pushed into my bottom lip, I lifted up and then plunged down on him. That moment...that instant when we were bonded together...it meant everything. I knew where I belonged, and I knew he knew it, too.

It was hot and fast and passionate, and we moved together in complete synchronization. I'd never felt that way before, and when it was over I felt his lips on my neck, kissing and nipping and licking my skin.

"I think I love you, Bella."

And I collapsed against him. I loved him, too, so how could I ever let him go?

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: Sadness... :( Trust me. :)**

**Oh, and I was gonna give my whole "Just because no condom is mentioned doesn't mean one wasn't used" speech. It's not always sexy to write about foil wrappers being ripped open by someone's teeth and the time it takes to slowly roll the rubber condom onto his length... Well, I guess it can be a little sexy. :D Anyway, as I thought about it I realized something...why would either of them have even had a condom with them? Sure, Edward could have carried one in his wallet, but he hadn't been having any sex for at least the past 6 months, and it had been years for Bella, not since her divorce from Jake when she was like 23 or 24. So, we'll just say both of them are clean and go from there. :)  
**

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	13. Chapter 13 - After

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is a love of FAGE's. I've done all five of them, and they're always so fun. Trust me, if you ever want something fun and rewarding to do, sign up for the next round. You'll love it! :)**

**I also like how sometimes things work out perfectly. Like this chapter... :)**

**~*0*~ Chapter 13 – After ~*0*~**

One year.

It had been a little over a year since I'd seen Edward. I heard things every now and then, but really...there'd been no contact. I didn't date. I didn't want to; no one caught my eye. Maybe I was waiting. Waiting for what, I didn't know. But I worked, I spent time with my daughter, I read books...anything to keep myself busy and from driving to Seattle so I could track down Edward. I was sure he'd moved on, found some cute young girl to make him happy. A yearning in my stomach told me what I'd been fighting for so long...that I wished it had been me.

"Mom, hurry! I have a game, I don't wanna be late!" Maggie called. It was her first soccer game of the season. She'd made the junior high girls team, and she was excited.

We pulled up to the field and soon she was lost in a sea of preteen girls. I found a spot on the bleachers and settled in for the afternoon.

"Is this seat taken?" I heard from beside me.

I knew that voice. _Edward._

He was standing next to me, smiling brightly and I could see so much happiness in his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still stunned.

"Is this seat taken or not?"

"No," I said, smiling as he sat down.

"Good, I didn't wanna fight some guy off so I could sit here."

"How..."

"I finished my classes. I'm doing my student teaching at the elementary school here in town. My sister-in-law coaches the girl's soccer team, so I'm here helping, I guess."

"Coach Hale's your sister-in-law?" I asked, slightly confused by her not being Coach Cullen.

"Yeah, she kept her maiden name. Whatever."

"So, you're here?" I asked.

He smiled. "Yep, I'm here. And I wanna take you out. Can I?"

I nodded, unable to say anything. He leaned forward, his nose rubbing against mine just before he kissed me, soft and slow.

"Can you feel it?" he whispered.

And I laughed, because after all our time apart, I did.

I still did.

**~*0*~ **

**A/N: See? One Year...365 words...like the 365 days that are in a year. :D I love that. :D**

**I'm not planning anything else for this story, though you never know what the future holds. :)**

**Thanks to _blueeyedcherry_ for the awesome prompt. I hope you enjoyed this and spotted all the things I snagged from your profile. :)**

**_itlnbrt_ wrote a very sweet story for me, so make sure you check it out! :)**

**Let's Love –_ A b__irth defect has a hold so tight on Bella; it's stopped her from loving and living. Edward's daughter doesn't like the thought of him being alone and wants him to be happy. Edward and his daughter teach Bella how to love and live life to it's fullest._**

** www().()fanfiction().()net/s/8788043/1/Let-s-Love (remove the ()'s from the address)**

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**Yippee! My wordy little tushie did it! :D**

**Thanks for reading this!**

_**beegurl13**_


	14. Epilogue - Part 1

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do ****own is a happy heart. I got roses and yummy Mexican food for Valentine's Day. And I might have bought myself some cinnamon bears and a Breaking Dawn tin with gummy hearts and a Cullen Crest necklace. :D Hubs never knows what to get me, other than roses...so I get it myself. :D**

**It's Valentine's Day...I thought I might post this, just for fun. It's not preread by anyone, so it might be crap. And it's not done, so there will be more...eventually. It's taken me 2 months to get this much written. Ugh...I suck. :)**

_**blueeyedcherry, **_**hope you like it. Thanks for the story prompt. :)**

_**~*0*~ Epilogue ~ Part One **__**~*0*~**_

It had been two years since Edward sat down next to me at Maggie's soccer game.

Two years of dinner dates every other Saturday night. Two years of Tuesday evening pizza with Maggie. Two years of Sunday afternoons at Edward's parents house. Two years of staring into glorious green eyes and tracing my fingers over tattoos and piercings.

The two best years of my life.

After a year together, when Edward started dropping hints about moving in together, I panicked a little bit. I wasn't sure how that would be looked upon since I'd been his doctor at one point. Edward didn't care, but I did. It took a huge fight at one of Maggie's soccer games for us to finally realize maybe things weren't going to be as easy as we'd both hoped they would be. The other single moms in the bleachers were clearly relieved to see us at each others throats, even if we were mostly whispering and speaking in low tones to one another. When Edward had finally had enough, he loudly stated that I was being selfish by not even considering his wants and needs. He stormed off after that, and I didn't hear from him for almost two weeks.

I had to hand it to him...he dealt with our separation much better than I did. I took that to mean somewhere in all those counseling sessions, I'd really helped him. He'd grown secure with himself and he was stronger than he'd ever been.

When I saw him at the grocery store one evening, the fact that he barely even acknowledged me nearly broke my heart. When we unknowingly reached for the same bunch of bananas, I sensed the first bit of emotion that I'd felt since he left.

"Sorry," he said, before pulling his hand back and looking up at me. Clearly he was just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. He was better at hiding it, though, and after mumbling a "See ya around" to me, he turned and quickly walked away.

I hurried to check out, then sat in my car in the parking lot and cried, finally seeing him exit the store. He talked on his phone the whole way to his car, never looking up to see me, though he paused a time or two, like he knew I was there.

Then he was gone. The next day I had a meeting with Kate, my supervisor, and she could tell that something was not right with me.

"Bella, what's going on? I've never seen you like this. Did something happen with Maggie?" she asked. We'd grown to be close friends over our time working together, and even though I knew I shouldn't tell her about Edward, I did. Once the whole story of our past was out, I told her about our fight and what had happened at the grocery store.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered as I cried. I would have thought after crying every day for nearly two weeks that I'd run out of tears. That didn't seem to be the case.

"Bella," she said as she sighed, "what a mess you've gotten yourself into. As a physician, and your boss, I have to remind you how unprofessional this is. You could have lost your license or been severely punished for what you did."

"I know. I tried, Kate, I swear I tried so hard to stop what I was feeling. But...it was just too strong. He's the one for me, I know it. I just met him in the worst of ways."

She let out a deep breath and didn't speak for several seconds. When she finally did, her voice was soft and comforting. "As your friend, I feel like I should tell you that you need to fix this. I can see how being away from him is affecting you. If he really is the one for you, then you need to fix it. Go to him and tell him how you feel—make it work, Bella."

I nodded, knowing she was right, but still uncertain about if I could really do it.

"But am I going to be in trouble? I don't want anyone to think I'm abusing my job. I worked so hard, and I want to help people, and if anyone thought-"

"Bella, you can't help anyone like this," she said. I knew she was right.

"Okay, I'll do it," I promised. I just had to figure out how. I had to figure out how to show Edward I was serious and dedicated to him. I had to make him believe me.

I'd lost him once. I knew I couldn't lose him again.

-o-o-o-

That Saturday afternoon, two weeks after he'd walked away from me, I sat alone in the bleachers. My sunglasses covered my eyes and the constant glances around the field as I searched for him. Rosalie was coaching, as usual, and I noticed Emmett wasn't there. That meant Edward should have been filling in as her assistant, but as game time approached, he still wasn't there.

It wasn't long until I heard the annoying laugh of another soccer mom—one who seemed to have a particularly strong crush on Edward. "You're so funny," I heard her coo just as—from the corner of my eye—I saw her approach the field. Next to her was Edward, walking much too close to her for my liking. What was he thinking? I knew he couldn't stand Lauren, so why on earth would he be talking to her? I sat up straight in my seat, my eyes glued to the two of them. I saw his lips move as he said something to her, and watched as her head leaned back when she began to laugh. He wasn't smiling, and I saw him roll his eyes, both of which made me happy, but still...her hand was on his arm and he wasn't pushing her away.

After about five minutes, I watched as her hand slowly crept up his arm, across his shoulder, and to the hair that hung out from the back of his baseball cap. Her fake, blood-red nails started to push into the hair that was only allowed to be touched by me, and I'd had it. I was up and out of my seat in a flash, and storming down the bleachers.

"What do you think you're doing?" I yelled toward her as I approached them. They both looked straight at me, and a huge, sly smile spread across Lauren's face.

"Oh, hi Bella. Edward and I were just talking about getting coffee after the game, weren't we?" she said in the sugary sweet voice that she usually unleashed on Edward.

He said nothing, just stood there staring at me. I pushed my sun-glasses off my face and onto the top of my head as I let out a huff of anger.

"Really? You're gonna go with her now? Are you kidding me?" I asked him.

He let out a deep breath, and my heart ached as I watched his shoulders slouch just a little. "Well, you don't seem to want me, so..."

"Yeah, Bella, you missed your chance. I can give him what he wants and what he needs. I can do everything you never did for him. Your loss is my gain."

The urge to punch her stupid mouth was so strong in me, that I had to step away from them, putting a little more distance between us as I tried to get my anger under control. I knew hitting her wasn't going to help me get Edward back. Even if it would make me feel better.

"I never said I didn't want you. I just didn't want to move so fast. You weren't being fair to me. It was your way or no way, and I can't do that. Not yet."

"Why?" he asked, and I noticed the slight step to the side that he took, pulling him away from Lauren. "Why can't we move faster? It's been a year, Bella. I know what I want, and I don't think it's a crime to ask you for that."

Lauren began to speak, but I didn't care anymore. "I was scared, you know that," I told him, unable to stop the few steps I took to be closer to him. "It's not so easy for me. We've talked about this a million times. You know I want a life with you, but we just have to go slow."

"Bella, how long? Tell me how long I have to wait, because it's not fair the way things are right now," he said, his eyes pleading with me to make things better between us.

"Oh my...are you kidding me?" Lauren yelled. "You could have me, Edward. What would you want her? She's old, I mean come on."

"You're older than I am, Lauren," I said, knowing full well that she was two years older than me. Much to my surprise, Edward continued to ignore her completely, keeping his eyes focused on me.

"How long?" he asked again.

My index finger moved to my mouth, and I bit down on my finger nail, trying to decide how to answer his question. I knew I wanted him. I knew we belonged together. Maggie adored him. Jake even liked him. My parents thought he hung the moon and stars. All I knew for certain was that the two weeks without him were horrible, and I'd never felt so alone—not even after my divorce.

"One year. Give me one year and then I'll do whatever you want," I said.

He moved himself away from Lauren, causing her to stomp her foot in frustration and cross her arms over her chest. Most men around probably enjoyed the way her arms pushed her silicone boobs together, especially since she was wearing a rather low-cut and tight tank-top, but Edward didn't even notice.

"When you say one year, what does that mean, exactly," he asked, reaching out for my hand and letting his fingers lace with mine.

Looking up into his eyes, I knew the decision I was making was the right one. "It means we stay the same as we are. We stay dating and being together and doing all the things we normally do. And in a year, we can move-in together, or whatever you want."

Edward smiled. "What if I want more than that?" he asked.

"I'll give you whatever you want."

His laugh filled my ears and blocked out the sound of an angry Lauren stomping away from us. "I'm gonna hold you to that, Miss Swan. And trust me, I want a lot more than to just live with you."

The moment he kissed me, all the sadness from the two weeks before melted away, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him against me. It was perfect and I was happy, and that night as I held him in my bed, I knew I'd made the right choice.

-o-o-o-

Now, nearly four years after a broken, troubled man walked into my office, I was standing in front of a mirror, laughing at myself.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I mumbled.

"What, Bells?" my dad asked from across the room as he adjusted his tie.

"Nothing, I just can't believe I let him talk me into this. This whole thing...it's so silly. I don't need this. And what if no one comes?" I asked. I really didn't need all the formality of the day's events, but I knew Edward did. I didn't want him to miss out on that chance, but that's not why he wanted it. He said he wanted it for me, because I hadn't had it the first time.

It was exactly one year after we made-up that Edward dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him. I accepted, without a moment's hesitation, and had assumed we'd visit a justice of the peace or something, but Edward wouldn't hear of it. He insisted that we have a big wedding—a celebration of our love, is what he cheesily called it. Maggie was all for it, especially since she was getting a fancy dress out of the deal. And apparently some "totally sick and hot" shoes. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I figured it was good. Teenagers were confusing sometimes.

Once our mothers heard about the engagement, they were completely on board, and pleading for a church wedding. Edward and I conceded to their requests, even though neither of us went to church on any kind of regular basis. I hoped that maybe it would lighten the blow a bit when they found out I was already three months pregnant. While both sets of grandparents were excited about the baby, and Maggie was beyond ecstatic, I didn't miss my mothers comment about how I'd been pregnant for my first wedding, too. I tried not to let it bother me, because I knew she didn't mean anything hurtful by it. But I was hormonal and nauseated...I couldn't help a little self pity every now and again.

"Mom, you ready?" Maggie said as she stood in the doorway. It still took my breath away sometimes to see how grown up she was. She stood a few inches taller than I did, and her hair and eyes were both so much darker than mine. She was a good blend of Jake and me, and I wondered for a moment if the baby would look anything like her.

"Yeah, I think so. Is everyone here?" I asked her. For Edward's sake, I really hoped people showed up.

"The church is full, Mom. Don't worry. You want me to tell that planner lady that you're ready?"

I smiled at her, gripping my bouquet a little tighter in my hand. "Yep, let's do this."

Holding onto my fathers arm, Maggie stood in front of us as we waited just outside the chapel doors. I breathed deeply a few times, and listened as my father laughed in a low and quiet tone.

"You sure about this? You're not nervous, are ya, kid?"

"No, I'm good," I whispered. "Just don't let me fall, Dad."

"Never," he said, before leaning over and lightly kissing me on the forehead.

When the doors opened, I was relieved to see so many of our family and friends in the pews. Once my nerves over that were settled, there was only one thing I wanted. Edward.

Our eyes finally met, and his smile nearly stunned me. He looked so happy, standing near the altar with his brother at his side. He was still, by far, the most handsome man I'd ever seen, and for a brief moment I missed the ring that had looped through his eyebrow when we first met. He'd removed it when he started teaching school, and eventually the piercing closed up. In it's place, he got a few other parts of his body pierced, but lucky for me, those were all in areas that only I could see. And not that I would ever tell my father, but Edward may have talked me into a piercing or two, as well.

And a tattoo. On my inner thigh. It was small and simple, yet sent a message that was loud and clear. And it matched the one on Edward's lower stomach.

_I Feel It_

That's all it said, but that's all we needed.

My father kissed my cheek, Edward took my hand, we made some promises, exchanged some rings, and recited some vows. It was over in about ten minutes, and when Edward's hands held my face and pulled me closer to him, I smiled. He wiped at the tears that were falling down my cheeks and let out a chuckle.

"Oh my sweet girl, you don't know how long I've waited for this day."

And then he kissed me. And it was perfect and sweet and loving, and I never wanted him to stop. As he pulled away and smiled down at me, I realized...he never would.

_**~*0*~**_

_**A/N: No word limit for the epi. :) And no promise on when the rest of this will be up. But it will be lemony...I can guarantee that. :D**_


	15. Epilogue - Part 2

**A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do ****own are cinnamon bears...and Almond M&M's...and raspberry sherbet...and pineapple sherbet...and candy bars... Dang, I gotta get rid of these sweets! At least the sherbet's fat free. :D**

**Thanks to **_**Pleumeleuc**_** and **_**eantl88**_ **for prereading this thing at the last minute. They said it's not horrible...so I'm going with that. :D**

_**blueeyedcherry, **_**hope you like this last little bit. Thanks for the story prompt. :)**

**You ready for some Edward? You know you want it... :)**

_**~*0*~ Epilogue ~ Part Two **__**~*0*~**_

EPOV

Every girlfriend I'd ever had was blonde. I don't know what it was about blonde hair, but I just couldn't resist it. If the girl had light eyes, all the better. But she had to appeal to me in more ways than just looks. I wanted a girl with brains, who could hold a conversation and keep me interested. While my own outward appearance may have looked a little edgy and rough, that wasn't who I really was; not what I wanted in a woman.

By the time I met Dr. Swan, I was a mess. My life was in shambles, all because of a stupid mistake I'd made. It seemed to snowball, leading me to do more and more idiotic things. Luckily for me, my destructive behavior was caught in the nick of time, and my parents forced me to get help. I was rather certain it was my mothers tears and pleas to the judge that influenced my sentence. That night after we'd been in court, my parents sat me down and laid out the rules for how things were going to be from then on. I'd dropped all of my classes at U Dub that semester, so until Fall came along, I had nothing to do. Well, nothing other than fulfill my court appointed community service hours and counseling sessions.

The first day I went to her office, I was angry and frustrated and upset. I was lost, to be precise. I ignored her and didn't really even look at her. Later that night as I sat at the dinner table listening to my parents have a conversation I refused to join in on, I felt a little bad. Dr. Swan seemed nice enough, and I got the idea that she really did want to help me. I also knew I was most likely beyond help. I mean, when you're responsible for someone's death, and people hate you because of what you did, you kind of decide you're not worth saving. I was to that point, so when Dr. Swan treated me like I wasn't, it was a little unnerving. And surprising.

The fact that my mother had to drop me off and pick me up was humiliating, and I knew it didn't help matters that I refused to talk to Dr. Swan and then flipped her off as I left. I only caught a glimpse of her as I did it, but the way her eyes widened at my actions, and then the shaky sigh I heard just before I closed the door kind of got to me. I actually felt bad about it. So when I met with her the second time, I decided to at least try. Then on the drive over, my father lectured me the whole way, making sure I knew how badly I was screwing up my life and that he couldn't stand to watch me throw away all the potential I had. He was clearly insane, but whatever. It was better living at home with him and my mom than being in jail.

As I sat on her couch, Dr. Swan started talking about some kind of game thing. She'd say something and then I'd say something. It didn't sound too bad, and since I had told myself I'd try, I laid my head back on the couch and looked at her. Her eyes were so dark and they seemed to sparkle. I'd never seen anything like it, and I'd certainly never been attracted to someone like her, but there was something different...something special. Even I could tell that much. When she told me she liked music I responded with the only thought that was in my head...fucking. I wanted her, like I'd never wanted any other woman before. And, just my luck, she was completely off limits to me.

The blush that covered her face and chest were totally worth it, even if I did feel a little bad for shocking her with my request. Of course she was professional and not interested in me, but I couldn't help thinking maybe she was a little flattered...the way her eyes raked over my body as she coughed and sputtered and told me over and over again why it was inappropriate and wrong for us to even talk like that, much less act on my words.

My next appointment I decided to be brave, to be bold. I wanted to see her blush again. I wanted to see her stumble over her words and be nervous and overwhelmed by me. I asked her if she'd thought about my request, and when she responded, asking if she could help another way, I asked about a blow job. I couldn't help it, I'd spent days imagining what it would look like to see her hair spilling across my thighs, to look down at her and see my cock slipping between her lips. Of course my words didn't have quite the same effect, and before I knew what was happening, she was crying. It kinda broke my heart a little bit, and as she sat there wiping away tears and telling me about how she wasn't good enough to help me, my walls crumbled. I talked. I told her what was wrong with me, what I'd done. I knew she'd hate me, but I needed to see her smile. I needed her tears to stop. I needed to fix what I'd messed up. I knew I couldn't bring Alec back, and I couldn't make Tanya forgive me, but if I could make Dr. Swan happy...make her feel like she was doing something right with me, then I'd do it.

Over the next few months I told her things. It wasn't all at once, I couldn't just spill my life story like that, but over the course of our appointments, it happened. My days were occupied with community service, helping my parents, hanging out with my brother, and seeing Dr. Swan.

Just as I thought we were starting to get along and she seemed genuinely happy to see me each session, I walked in one day and saw her bent over something...with her ass right in my view. Her skirt was riding up a little too high, and with the slit in the back, I could almost see the one place I wanted most to be. She froze when she heard the door, but I wasn't sure if she knew what I was seeing or not. I couldn't help but walk to her, pull her against me and imagine what it would be like to have her that way. It only lasted a moment, but I got something I'd been wanting for weeks...her name. Her first name. And it was perfect—she was perfect. My heart soared when she told me I wasn't the only one feeling the connection between us. And it took all of my strength and will power to let her go and continue with our session like nothing had happened. Like my world hadn't just shifted on it's axis. She was everything I wanted in a woman, and I knew then that I'd wait as long as it took.

My mother tried to set me up with other women. My friends tried to set me up. Even my dad came home with the name of a co-workers daughter. I wasn't interested in any of them, but I couldn't say why. I knew it would get Bella in trouble, and I never wanted to cause her any harm. Eventually, I told her what had happened—how I got to be the way I was. Just like I knew she would, she told me it wasn't my fault. She told me I wasn't to blame. She helped me work things out in my head and to accept that while my actions may have played a part in what happened, it was Alec's choice to drive the way he did. I couldn't have stopped him, and I didn't need to shoulder that blame on myself. I'd seen Tanya around that time, and even with all the years that had passed, she was still cold and stand-offish toward me. I knew she would always hold me accountable, but I couldn't change that. I had to stop letting that affect me. She was moving on with her life, and I was moving on with mine. I had to learn to be okay with that.

Bella's age never bothered me, and the fact that she had a daughter didn't bother me, either. I knew my parents would freak out if they ever knew how I felt about my doctor, so I made sure not to tell them. My mother actually asked me at one point if I was gay, but I told her no, I liked girls, but that I was trying to get myself settled before I could think of being with anyone else. She was a little more proud of me after that point. My brother Emmett just thought I needed to get laid. And he was right, but the women he introduced me to did nothing for me.

"I thought you were into blondes," he told me one afternoon as we sat watching a junior high soccer game that his wife was coaching.

"I was, but I don't know, I think I might be changing my mind."

"Whatever," he said, as she scoped out the hot moms there watching their kids play. Not that he'd ever stray from Rosalie. She was perfect for him, and he knew it. He was just on a mission to find me a woman, and clearly he wasn't going to let my hesitation get in the way.

I wondered if Bella's daughter would ever play soccer. While I'd never been into older women, if she was in the stands I'd be all over her.

Soon enough my sessions ended. My uncle got me a job in Seattle at a hospital, and I was enrolled in classes again for the fall. If I really pushed myself, I could finish my classes in two semesters, plus another couple of classes during the two month summer semester, and be ready for my student teaching the next fall. My foolish heart hoped that maybe after a year away, I could come back and woo Bella. I could make her fall in love with me. The feelings I felt for her were still there, and stronger than ever. And I knew she felt them, too.

At my last appointment I told her I was a good guy, that all I wanted was for her to see I wasn't the fuck-up that she'd seen for the past six months. Even though she said she knew, I couldn't leave it like that. I had to make sure she understood how I felt about her. I left her office and stood outside on the doorstep, breathing deeply and wrestling with my thoughts. I finally decided enough was enough, and I went back into the office, locking the door behind me. In four steps I was across the room and pulling her into my arms. I knew it was stupid, and that she probably wasn't on any birth control, but I had to have her. I needed to feel her—all the parts I'd spent six months dreaming about. Her lips, her breasts, her stomach, her back, her hips and thighs, her pussy, and most importantly her heart. She didn't disappoint, and in that moment I was assured of the fact that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I didn't have a condom with me. There was no reason, I hadn't had sex in nearly a year. That didn't stop us, and as she straddled my lap and sank down on me, I felt more love and perfection than I'd ever felt in my life.

We were perfect together, and the moment was perfect, even though it was fast and over far too soon. As she stilled in my arms, I kissed her neck and told her I thought I was in love with her. She curled into my chest and cried, and in that moment I vowed to come back as soon as I could. I promised myself that no matter what, I would win her over. I would be with her. She was it for me, and I knew it.

Walking out of that office as she sat on the couch and cried was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

My parents were surprised by my focus and dedication, and I pushed myself harder than I ever had. When the end of my spring semester came along, my sister in law was able to help me secure a student teaching job at one of the elementary schools in Port Angeles. I'd be back in the same town as Bella, and I knew I had to find her...to win her. I just prayed I wasn't too late.

I'd been back in town about two weeks and was busy working on my teaching plans when Emmett and Rosalie came over to my parents house for dinner one night.

"Rose is gonna be the head coach for the girls soccer team at the junior high," Emmett announced. We were all proud of her, and she was excited.

"Yeah, we've got a pretty good line up, from what I've seen. A couple of the girls looked really good at our practice the other day."

"That's wonderful, dear. Anyone we know?" my mother asked.

"I don't think so, I don't recognize them, but a few of them are really talented. There's one girl, Bree, who's got some real potential as a goalie. And another girl, Maggie, who has one of the strongest kicks I've seen in a long time."

The mention of a Maggie got my attention. "Maggie?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Maggie Black. She's really good, she'll be starting for sure."

I knew it had to be Bella's daughter, and I knew I'd be offering to help Rosalie in any way I could.

When the first game of the season finally arrived, I waited by my car, hoping to see Bella somewhere in the sea of soccer moms. Soon enough she was there, and I hurried to the bleachers, standing next to her and asking if I could sit down. She seemed just as happy to see me as I was to see her, and when I kissed her, I knew I'd done the right thing. She felt it too, and instantly my life was in balance again.

Dating was easy with Bella. We worked around her schedule and kept things quiet. I knew she was worried about people finding out. I wasn't sure if she could get into trouble or not, but I wasn't a patient anymore, and I was well over the legal age. I knew what I was doing and what I wanted. We were consenting adults, so I didn't see the problem. Bella, however, remained a little distant and hesitant. I knew she loved me, I was completely certain about that, but she was still worried. About a year into our relationship I was ready to move forward, and I wanted her to live with me, or more specifically me live with her and Maggie. I never wanted to uproot Maggie from her home, and after making sure that she would be okay with me and her mother being more serious, I asked Bella.

I didn't get the response I'd been hoping for.

To say I was shocked when she said no was an understatement. In the back of my mind I always knew there was a chance she'd say no, but I knew how I felt about her, and how she felt about me. I really believed she'd want to move forward. When she didn't, I was devastated. I said things I shouldn't have said, trying to make her understand how she was making me feel. It didn't seem to work. I couldn't even bear the thought of seeing her, much less spending time with her, and I pretty much disappeared for about a week. I went to work and went home. That was all. My mother knew something was up, but she wasn't sure what it was. She hadn't always been the biggest supporter of Bella and my relationship, though she'd finally come to accept the fact that we were together. I was grateful for that, even if she and my father weren't very vocal in their support.

One evening my mother asked me to stop by the grocery store for her on my way home from work. It was the least I could do and I thought it would be a good test of my ability to be out in public again. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize Bella was right next to me until I reached for a banana bunch at the same time that she did and our hands touched. It startled me and I mumbled something under my breath before walking away from her as quickly as I could. I knew if I stayed near her for very long I'd give in and beg her to take me back, on whatever terms she deemed acceptable. I called Emmett as I paced up and down the cereal aisle. He calmed me down and told me to either man up and talk to her, or keep my head down and get home as soon as I could. I chose the later of the two options, though I caught myself looking for Bella as I made my way toward the cashier and then waited to pay for my items. I was still on the phone with him as I rushed toward my car, only pausing a couple of times at the feeling that someone was watching me. I knew it couldn't be Bella, that she'd most likely left the store before I did, and I continued on my way.

The next few days were agony and my mind was haunted by the way she'd looked that evening in the produce section. She looked tired, her eyes not having their usual shine and sparkle. It made me sad to see her that way, and I wondered if she was handling our separation as badly as I was. When Rose asked me to assist coaching her soccer game that weekend, I was hesitant, but she needed me since Emmett was out of town, and I owed it to her. After all, she'd been the one who finally convinced my parents to be accepting of my relationship with Bella.

I hoped Bella would be at the game, since I knew Maggie would be starting like she always did. I only prayed that Bella's ex, Jake, wouldn't be there. He and I were on friendly terms, but if he knew Bella and I were on the outs, I knew he wouldn't be so happy to see me. Not that I was afraid of him, but he was a big guy, and I knew if it came to punches, I'd be on the losing end. After parking my car, I started toward the field only to be intercepted by Lauren, one of the soccer moms that flirted with me and every other single man at the games. Her daughter was second string, at best, but I didn't think Lauren was really there to watch her play.

"Edward! Hey hot stuff, how you doin'?" she said in a sugary sweet voice that made me want to vomit. She ran up next to me and linked her arm in mine before I could step away. She wasn't a horrible person, but I wasn't interested in her. Up to that point, I'd always had Bella to rely on. The other moms knew something was going on between us, though we never flaunted any physical affection in public.

"Hi, Lauren," I said quietly. I didn't want to encourage her, but I couldn't find it in me to care enough to tell her to get lost, either.

She started talking, but I didn't hear a word she said. It was just a blabbering in my ear, and I didn't care what she had to say. I could feel Bella nearby, though I couldn't see her just yet. I let Lauren stand next to me, rambling on as I watched the playing field and the girls running their warm up drills.

Just as I was about to excuse myself from Lauren's clutches, I felt her fingers glide up my arm and move to my hair. It didn't feel like it did when Bella did it. It almost made my skin crawl. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella rushing toward me and my heart began to race. What would she think? The look on her face was one of pure anger and fury, and in all actuality, it turned me on.

When she yelled at us, I wasn't sure if she was referring to me or Lauren, so as Lauren began a reply, I decided to keep my mouth shut until I knew what was going on. It didn't take long for her to make her intentions known, and I couldn't stop myself from answering her. It wasn't nice or sweet, but I was still a little hurt over the fact that she'd let two weeks go by without as much as a word to me. Plus, she'd practically dumped me when I asked about us living together, so my ego was still pretty bruised.

Lauren kept talking, but it didn't seem that Bella even heard her, as her eyes were fixed firmly on mine. The fact that she stepped away from me ever so slightly hurt me, but her words didn't seem to match her body language. I heard her saying that she still wanted me, but that I hadn't been fair. So what? I was tired of waiting and wanting something that I didn't think was wrong, and I told her that as I pulled away from Lauren a bit.

Bella said she wanted a life with me. As I let the words bounce around in my brain for a moment, mending all the broken thoughts and memories that had been consuming me for so many days, I decided I'd had enough. I begged. It might not have been my proudest moment, telling her that I'd take whatever she'd give me and for her to just say how long I needed to wait, but I didn't care. I wanted her back in my life and I'd do whatever I had to do to make that happen.

Lauren continued to talk and pout and whine and grumble, but that was of no concern to me. Once Bella gave me a time limit, I was in. Completely and totally. I could wait a year, that was nothing in the grand scheme of things. I reached out and took her hand, and instantly I felt the connection I'd been lacking for the past two weeks. Bella felt it, too, I could tell by the look in her eyes. She set her terms for our year of dating and I made my intentions clear before I moved even closer to her and pulled her body against mine. My life settled back into its right place as I kissed her and she seemed to relax into me. Where I belonged was with her, and I'd wait however long it took for that to happen.

I was just glad that Bella didn't know how long I would wait. Especially since I knew how hard it would be to last just one year, but I would do it. For her, I would do it. And I was certain at the end of that year we'd both be happy and ready for more, to move forward...for a life together.

-o-o-o-

A year always seems like such a long time when you're looking forward at it. But when you're looking back...it's not that much. My time with Bella seemed to fly by. Things settled back to what they'd been before our little break up, and we were both content and blissfully happy. It wasn't always perfect—life never is—but we figured our way through everything and always came out better. I proposed to her on a normal, regular Thursday night. It was nothing special or extravagant, but it was her and me and Maggie, and it was perfect. She cried, Maggie laughed, and I let out the biggest sigh of relief known to man. I knew she'd say yes, but somewhere in the back of my head I wondered if I was wrong.

Bella shocked me the next morning by pulling out a pregnancy test. It was positive. I knew she hadn't been feeling well, but we'd been pretty good about birth control. I almost always wore a condom. Almost. But it only took one time, and when I found out we were expecting, I might have cried a little bit. Bella said it made her feel more at peace with what was happening, and she loved how excited I was.

The wedding was supposed to be some huge, grand thing. A big party for Bella and me, so we could celebrate our love in front of everyone, but she didn't want that. I talked her into it, knowing she'd missed out on anything special when she'd married Jake so long ago. Maggie was excited, and between her, and Bella's mom and mine, they did pretty much all the planning. It was a beautiful day and I was excited to finally be making it official between us. Emmett stood beside me at the end of the aisle as Bella walked toward me. She was still the most incredible woman I'd ever seen, and the smile on her face told me she didn't think I was too bad, either.

The way she looked at me made me feel like I was ten feet tall and bulletproof, but I knew she missed seeing a few things. Like the piercing in my eyebrow. I figured it out one evening as Maggie and I were talking about my tattoos and why I always wore long-sleeved shirts to work.

"I have to cover my tats in front of the kids. It's just school policy, and that's fine. They're young and if they saw them, they'd ask a lot of questions," I told her as I helped Bella slice vegetables for the soup we were making.

"But you can wear short-sleeves when you're not working?" Maggie asked.

"Yep."

"What about piercings? Is that why you took out your eyebrow one?"

I smiled. "I didn't know if you even remembered that. You only saw it a couple of times."

"It was cool! Heck yes I remember it," she laughed. Bella groaned. Maggie was finally hitting her teenage years, and she was anxious to learn all there was to know about life.

"Well, I knew I couldn't wear it when I was teaching, so my last semester of college I started taking it out a bit every now and then. It sucked, and a few months after I started teaching full time, I decided it just wasn't really worth it, so I let it close up. It made me glad I never got the snake bites I wanted."

Bella's breath hitched. "Snake bites?"

I couldn't stop the chuckle that bubbled up from my chest. "Yeah, I almost got them just before we met. I was in the shop waiting for my appointment when I overheard some people talking. One of them was a teacher and they were saying what a pain it was and that the kids asked about the holes in their lip all the time. I decided not to mess with it, and I got another tattoo, instead."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

That weekend when Maggie was with her dad, Bella and I went to the shop where a buddy of mine worked and I got my nipple pierced. I think Bella came the moment she saw that barbell against my skin. And I'd never regretted that decision. I also never felt guilty when I talked Bella into piercing one of her nipples. And something a little lower on her body.

I didn't regret our matching tattoos, either.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride," the reverend said as he pulled me out of my memories. I smiled as my hands lifted to cup Bella's face and pull her closer to me. Wiping away her tears, I whispered something cheesy to her just before I kissed her. She was mine and I was hers, and life was just what it was meant to be. I could feel it.

-o-o-o-

"Maggie left with Jake," I told Bella as I walked into the bridal suite at the church. She was packing up her things so we could go, and I wanted to help speed her up, if I could.

"Okay, did my parents leave, too?"

"Yeah, I think they're headed to the hotel for the night. They've got the gifts with them and they said they'd drop them at the house in the morning before they leave for home."

Bella smiled. "We did it. Can you believe it?"

"I've been waiting for this day, a long, long time. So yeah, I believe it." I put my arms around her waist and pulled her against me before placing light kisses on the top of her head. "You know what else I believe?"

"No, what?" her muffled voice asked as she tightened her hold around me.

"I think our hotel room is going to be given to someone else if we don't hurry," I laughed.

"You just want to get me naked," she said, smiling up at me.

"Fuck yes, I do."

Bella laughed and rose up on her tip toes in an effort to kiss me. "Then I'd better hurry, because I have something lacy and very see through to show you tonight."

And my night just got even better, I thought to myself.

It was late as we drove through the dark and quiet streets toward our honeymoon suite. We were staying the night before driving into Seattle the next day and boarding a flight to San Francisco. Neither of us had ever been there, and we wanted something interesting to do for a few days, that wouldn't take us too far away, for too long. Maggie was excited to stay with Jake and his wife and their two little boys, but Bella was still nervous about leaving her.

Checking into the hotel was quick and before we knew it, we were in our room, taking in the huge bed and patio hot tub. On a table in the corner sat a bottle of champagne and a platter of chocolate covered strawberries.

"I know where I want to start," Bella giggled as she hurried toward the table and grabbed a strawberry. The sight of my wife biting into a piece of fruit shouldn't have been as erotic as it was, but when juice slid down her chin, I couldn't help but rush to her side and lick it off. Her eyes met mine as she held the sweet fruit to my lips and I bit into it. My fingers cautiously found her waist, skimming slightly over the seems on her sides.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered and felt myself hardening as she took another bite of the strawberry. Her lips were more red than before, and so wet and moist that I gave in to the feelings flowing through me. I leaned down and kissed her. With a soft thud, I heard the strawberry drop to the table and felt her arms wrap around me and her hands slide up my back.

It wasn't long before we were making out like teenagers, grasping and grabbing at each other. With my lips firmly affixed to her neck, I slowly began to walk forward, backing her toward the bed. When her knees hit it, I paused for a moment, pulling back to look at my amazing bride.

"Do you wanna change first?" I asked, giving her the choice.

"What do you want?" she asked, smiling a teasing little smirk.

"I just want you. And I want you to save that see through thingie for later tonight, or tomorrow, or next week. Whatever. I just want you naked and underneath me."

A shiver shook through her body. "Me, too. I want that, too."

As our lips met again, I leaned her back and laid her out on the bed, then slid to lay next to her. My hand moved to the buttons on her shirt and carefully undid each one as I continued to kiss her tender lips. I peeled the fabric away from her body, then slowly began to kiss along her jaw, then down her neck and across her chest toward her breasts. Soon enough she was completely bare underneath me and my fingers were dancing along her hip bone. With her clothes on you couldn't even tell yet that she was pregnant. But when she was naked, there was just the slightest bump of baby on her lower belly. And it stopped my heart every time I saw it.

That was mine. Mine and hers. We'd created something wonderful, that would be perfect and both of us. The only thing that had ever meant more to me than that baby being born was marrying Bella. And if the fatherly, parental, proud love I already felt for Maggie was any indication, I was going to be a complete goner when the baby was born. As I scooted down her body, I let myself linger at her waist for a moment, my hand skimming over her goosebump-covered baby bump.

"Daddy loves you, baby," I whispered, feeling Bella's fingers move easily through my hair and knowing she was watching me. "And I'm just gonna apologize right now for any sudden, thrusting or pounding movements near where you are. And also for the naughty things your mommy's gonna be screaming very soon." Bella laughed and her chest shook, making her tits jiggle back and forth.

"I love you, Edward," she said, her voice firm and loud, but gentle and reverent at the same time.

"Can you feel it?" I asked her, looking up at her beautiful face, my eyes settling in on the brown ones that had forever changed my life.

"I feel it. I always feel it."

-o-o-o-

Six Months Later

_Maggie Black is pleased and excited to announce  
the birth of her new sister!_

_Please join her and her parents as they celebrate the arrival of  
Emily Katherine Cullen_

_Born – May 1, 2013 at 2:44pm  
Weight – 8lbs 2oz  
Length – 19 ½ inches_

_She's got curly, medium brown hair like her mommy,  
a button nose like her daddy,  
and strong, powerful lungs like her sister._

_She's perfect._

_**~*0*~**_

**A/N: I know I promised a lemon in this. Apparently, I lied. But I kinda LOVE where this ends up, and full blown lemony goodness just didn't feel right. I hope you're okay with that. :)**

**Thanks for sticking with me through this. It was a fun ride. :)**

**And again...no word limit for epi's. They're just the cherry on top of an already super yummy sundae. :D At least for me they are. :)**

**Thanks again!**

_**beegurl13 **_


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